


Grift

by toxic_corn



Category: Firefly
Genre: Con Artists, F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 07:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5407745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toxic_corn/pseuds/toxic_corn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jayne's playing a game of pool and has a bit of an accident...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grift

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://karanina.livejournal.com/profile)[karanina](http://karanina.livejournal.com/)'s prompt at my [ Rayne request post](http://toxic-corn.livejournal.com/161529.html).

“The hell’s she doing?” Farkus grunted, watching the crazy girl as she climbed up onto a stool and started making a rowing motion with the pool cue.

 

Jayne gritted his teeth. “Hang on, I’ll get her.” He crossed over to her and hissed, “Girl, get down before I take you over my knee.”

 

“Shhh,” she said, her face serene. “I’m rowing my gondola.”

 

“Your- just get down!” He waited a moment and when it looked like she still wasn’t getting down, he gripped her around the waist and brought her down beside him. She smiled warmly up at him and he found himself starting to smile back before he schooled his features into a hard scowl.

 

“Cobb, are we gonna start this game or not?” Farkus snapped, sharpening his cue. “I won’t rest ‘til I get all your week’s pay offa you, boy.”

 

Scowling, Jayne gave the girl a quick shake. “Stop bein’ weird and quit messin’ me up!” On his way back to the table, he collided with a young girl and fell onto a tabletop where a fancy lookin’ gent was wetting his whistle. Jayne’s hand smashed into the glass of the gent’s mug and blood sprayed all over.

 

“My drink!” the man exclaimed.

 

“My hand!” Jayne bellowed, clutching his wrist.

 

“I’m sorry!” the young girl wailed, wringing her hands. “I didn’t mean to crash into ya, mister, honest!”

 

Jayne hissed air in and out through his clenched teeth. “Gorrammit, of all the ruttin’ bad luck in the ’verse… Guess that’s all you’re gonna win then, Farkus.”

 

Farkus looked sullen before he glanced at River out of the corner of his eye, noticing her twirling around off to the side, away from the hubbub. “What about her?”

 

“What _about_ her?” Jayne snapped, taking a bandana out of his pocket and wrapping it around his hand.

 

“She’s still got two good hands,” Farkus said and smirked like his mind was wandering to less innocent places where hands weren’t just used for playing pool. “How ‘bout she takes your place?”

 

Jayne looked nervous and glanced from River to Farkus. “No. In fact: Hell no.”

 

“Either she plays me or I take your money my own self.” Farkus threw back his coat, exposing his holstered gun.

 

For a moment, Jayne stared hard at Farkus. “Fine.” He turned to where River was now inspecting the ends of her hair. “Girl! Get yer crazy ass over here and play my game for me.”

 

River dropped her lock of hair and made her way over to them with long, graceful strides. “What game?”

 

“The one I been playin’ all night.” Jayne rolled his eyes and handed her the cue. Farkus’ grin was widening. “Use this stick to knock the balls into the holes.”

 

“All right.” The girl looked uncertain as she took the pool cue and stepped up to the table. She looked at Farkus with her big, guileless brown eyes. “What are the stakes?”

 

“Well, how ‘bout this, darlin’,” he crooned, leaning forward. “If you win, you get everything I got in my pockets. Including the pants if you do good.” He winked. “And if _I_ win, I get all o’ Cobb’s money and your pretty little dress.” He fingered the wispy bell sleeve of her pink dress and River’s lips pursed and hands twitched where she clutched her pool cue. But then she relaxed. “Alright. Those terms are acceptable.”

 

Farkus gave her a sleazy grin. “Glad to hear it.”

 

“As the victor from the previous game, are you going first?” River asked, indicating the table.

 

“Aww, no. Ladies first, darlin’.” Farkus stood back.

 

Nodding, River leaned forward and gave the white cue ball a tap, breaking the other balls from their clump. Farkus was peering down the front of her dress all the while and almost missed his turn. As he was getting set to take it, River stretched and the fabric of her dress tightening across her small, perky breasts made him miss the shot he was going for and instead knocked one of her balls into the pocket.

 

“Thank you,” she said sweetly and then lined up her next shot. Which went right in. As did the next one. And the one after that. And the one after that, until all had disappeared down the pockets. “I win,” she announced and held out her hand. “Your pants, Mr. Farkus. Which I believe includes your firearm.”

 

~*~

 

“’Your pants, Mr. Farkus!’” Jayne hooted, counting out the money with two perfect hands. “You do the best when you’re ad libbin’, baby girl!”

 

River giggled and hugged his arm. “There could still be room for improvement. Your fall on the table is over dramatized; Kaylee doesn’t walk into you with that much force.”

 

Kaylee looked worried. “Should I crash into him harder? Maybe it’d help if I had a tray of somethin’; it might look realer.”

 

“No need; you do just fine. Your acting has improved,” River reassured her. “Unlike Simon.”

 

Simon blushed. “I know. And I think I need to reduce the amount of fake blood packets we’re using; the amount of spray was ridiculous and I thought Farkus would catch wise.”

 

Jayne snorted. “Hell, doc, you’re over-estimatin’ ol’ Farkus’ abilities. He couldn’t even catch a cold, let alone wise.” As they passed a dumpster, Jayne tossed the old lecher’s pants in. “What’s say we head back to the ship and show Mal what a real planner looks like?”

 

Giddy with victory, the unlikely crew followed the dusty road out of town.

 

THE END


End file.
